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He was too young.

Still a boy in my eyes. I continued to grow older and he would stay forever the same.

The sink is still stained and the deafening silence rings in my ears.

It's all the same but it feels like a world of difference.

The doors locked when I needed them opened the most.

In all of 30 seconds, it was done.


The noise rings in my ears.

The screams barreling down the hall echo.

It was too easy to do.

too accessible.

If possible someone should’ve helped.

So much happened in so little time.




He was too young.


You walk into first period, tight chest, bated breath

Inconsolable because what if you're next

Check for the baseball bat your teacher kept behind the door

A promise of her determination to protect

Just in case


Students file out of class after fourth

Policemen and their dogs line the hall

All because of a note left in the graffiti-covered stalls of the boy’s bathroom

Children rush to their classrooms and the safety of a locked door

Just in case



Active Shooter Drills 


Teachers lock your doors, 

close the blinds,

turn off the lights, 

go to the furthest corner of the room,

because this is an active shooter drill 


Stay still,

don’t make a sound, 

because this is an active shooter drill.


Students crouched in a corner,

hugging their knees, 

“Shh” the teacher whispers 

because this is an active shooter drill 


Footsteps thump across the floor,

the door handle turns,

a second passes, 

they walk away,

because this is an active shooter drill 

in America.



A gun has 26 working parts the length of the barrel the speed of the bullet and the caliber of the ammunition determine its lethality. There are six chambers in the cylinder when cocked the hammer clicks when it locks into place the trigger requires a precise amount of pressure to fire. The target erupts as the bullet forces entry opening a door that can’t be closed, an act that can’t be undone.


A school shooting has countless working parts the lengths to which the shooter will go to force entry the speed of the response and the caliber of the security system determine the lethality. The first shot triggers a lockdown the fire alarm sounds and chaos erupts classrooms become war zones the shooter rips through bullets like wildfire until… police moving with as much precision as a man defusing a bomb reopen a closed door and separate the living from the dead.


The senate has 100 working parts the size of the majority the length of their terms and the caliber of the lobbyists determine its productivity. The massacre of school children triggers debate in the chamber, but while you debate behind closed doors we continue to die.


Healing has countless working parts the length of the trauma the size of the student body and the caliber of those who survived determines the rest of our lives watching nothing change triggers the need to act


Nobody wants to become an activist Tragedy strikes people die the cycle continues You cry mental health and fail to acknowledge the laws that make guns so accessible 43,000,000 teens fighting for change yet you still debate if our lives matter, we've done our part, will you do yours?


how is it that we:


college students,

the youth of the future,

perch behind closed doors 

participating in lockdown drills.

because school shootings have become so common; 

under each desk,

we wait. 

the key to each door lies in the hands of

unhelpful legislators, 

oblivious politicians,

silencing the call to action we desperately need


we won’t remain silenced.



The first time they had a drill.

It was an unnatural phenomenon.

A part of growing up, perhaps.

A maybe, someday, just in case.


Funny how so much time has passed.

This practice ingrained into ritual.

The reason they do it has not changed at all.

The maybe, someday, are they next?



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